Fuck My Life - FML
1kommentarer
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home and I was calling bingo numbers. And one woman stood up and started making noises, I asusmed she had won and I started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML
http://www.fmylife.com/ tillbringade jag en stor del av gårdagen på, riktigt kul sida. Synd att mitt liv inte suger så fasligt mycket för tillfället då hade jag kunnat lägga in massa FML. Idag efter skolan åkte jag och mamma till Lund och var nyttiga på bokrean. Köpte även en knypplingsliknande sak som jag kan roa mig med de kommande veckorna. För nu har jag sportlov och efter sportlovet har jag påsklov. Så två veckors total ledighet. Jag borde nyttja tiden till något. Typ bygga om min största hemsida. Men jag orkar inte så jag avstår nog :)
Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home and I was calling bingo numbers. And one woman stood up and started making noises, I asusmed she had won and I started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML
http://www.fmylife.com/ tillbringade jag en stor del av gårdagen på, riktigt kul sida. Synd att mitt liv inte suger så fasligt mycket för tillfället då hade jag kunnat lägga in massa FML. Idag efter skolan åkte jag och mamma till Lund och var nyttiga på bokrean. Köpte även en knypplingsliknande sak som jag kan roa mig med de kommande veckorna. För nu har jag sportlov och efter sportlovet har jag påsklov. Så två veckors total ledighet. Jag borde nyttja tiden till något. Typ bygga om min största hemsida. Men jag orkar inte så jag avstår nog :)
1 kommentarer
nathalie
23 Mar 2009 17:38
jag älskar fmylife-sidan!
härlig blogg också. älskar ditt sätt att skriva på, den sarkastiska humorn är total! "Synd att mitt liv inte suger så fasligt mycket för tillfället" ;)
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